A couple days ago, my close friend had asked me advice on how I became so independent. She was going through her own learning experiences of coping with a break up to which I re-assured her that self-love and building it through forgiveness really set me off to where I am now.
Forgiving anyone (even myself) that did me wrong 10000x made it easier to move forward. I learned that when we harbour hatred or emotions from past trauma we tie ourselves from moving past it. Not dealing with it only makes the weight become stronger to get rid of as time passes. And it’s shitty. Ask yourself, “Why would you miss anyone/anything that mistreats you or puts you in a place where you feel shitty about your life” And do this repeatedly til you get to your senses.
To not harbour hate you have to release yourself slowly by asking and giving yourself forgiveness and permission to let go. To actually understand that you’ve added to the pain by remaining attach to it and that it’s been of disservice to you is when the healing begins. You move forward by replacing hate/anger/sadness/depression with reflection.
It’ll feel powerless at first but sit back and watch it work.
Truthfully, I’m unsure how independent I am. Perhaps people are mistaking my ‘independency’ for the type of love I have. All I know is that since I’ve invested in building, protecting and fighting my self love — the more it goes unnoticed of how unmistakable my love is.