Let’s not hope anymore because that part is over.
I will admit I have had my moments of inconsistency and fully aware of my right in feeling out my emotions. I harshly put this expectation on myself that my feelings would disappear quickly and recently this idea gave me clarity that feelings would only disappear with time … on BOTH sides of the relationship. Although I do admit to my contradictory behaviour, I will also admit that I have not let this happening defeat me.
As I have been told, “You have a strong mind but a strong mind only develops with moments of weakness”.
I confess I have said in my previous posts, “everything happens for a reason”. Now I say, “everything happens, and we make reason of it”. Truthfully, things just don’t happen (to an extent). Like Eckhart Tolle has said, “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but the thought about it. Be aware of the thougths you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral. It is as it is” . To understand our actions and events becomes so difficult because sometimes our judgments are too clouded and we’re perhaps too afraid to come to terms of what’s actual.
Absolutely do I have to live my life and move forward. With that said, I think if the opportunity presented itself (whatever that opportunity maybe) I would know what to do. Always do I have to preserve a level of dignity for myself. To protect myself I will not hang onto whatever hope that that opportunity will come because I would only be holding myself back.
I no longer have to explain how I am doing because at the end of this it’ll show. You may end up saying it for me.