So I came across this post and it said:
“And you finally realize you can’t force “it” to be something. You can’t force consistency, loyalty or even honesty …
You can’t force them to keep their word, or to communicate, or to realize something special is in front of them …”
Reading this post moved me. Made me feel ways. With my current learning experience I have been thrown all types of opinions. Partially yes, it is my doing and I am liable to prompting these thoughts. However, what a person says is ultimately my decision to decipher it as the truth or not.
At the end of the day, I’ve been reminded again that everything happens for a reason. I may not understand the reasoning now but in time I will. So as much as I do this, worrying, I have to stop. My faith lies within God’s grace and my own spiritual upbringing. Without a doubt I have been taken to places and given experiences that shape my values and morals today. And because of this reminder, there’s no reason for me to fear the untold future. I trust God and my faith.
In reflecting my actions, I have and still continue to handle the experience in the most graceful and honest manner as humanely possible. I have always found myself in the past constantly putting a time limit on everything. In my tasks, school, job, relationships, etc. only to realize that putting pressure did more harm than good on my well-being. In this journey, time limits are not necessary. To say that I don’t know what or who I want in my life is okay. I’ve been and battled through a lot since this “revelation”. I know that every action I have taken and every word I have said my intentions always remained whole-hearted and my efforts were expressed genuinely. My values and morals are a true reflection of my nature: pure, beautiful and strong. Feeling out my emotions and not putting a pressure on things is the BEST thing I can do for myself. Letting my heart heal to give my mind more clarity is what I need. Ultimately, allowing space is healthy but it doesn’t have to be forever.
As I’ve said earlier, part of loving someone is letting them go and seeing if they’ll return back. It’s a really scary feeling I know but it’s the truth. And when someone is willing to do anything to keep you in their life, they will do it.