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Your Worst

      I’ve seen you at your worst and I still think you’re the best.

         In my eyes, I see beyond what you see in yourself; a life. Despite the heartache and pain caused by the journey, I’ve never felt more alive to live these experiences. It’s a crazy feeling being torn, ripped, and then re-birthed into a more beautiful, humble and compassionate human being. Restoring the strength and love that has always been embedded within me — my soul has become more purely connected to my mind and body and without you, I may have risked of completely losing it.

         My favourite part of you was your capacity to match your level of connection to my mindset. It takes a lot for people to understand me deeply (morals, values, goals) and with you almost seemed effortlessly. Intellectually, emotionally and spiritually — we connected in more ways than just physical. It was rich and spontaneous. Beautiful and real. Almost too good to be true because it was exactly what I wanted and needed from my partner.

          The worst part of you was your abrupt unwillingness to continue those abilities you have shown me. You used to honour your commitments. Presented me with gifts of stability, assurance, love, affection, trust to which all disappeared out of nowhere. I was never interested in “materialism” but more so yearned for intangible feelings and experiences. I do not deny in when I say you have provided me these gifts in many ways. But that was before and this is now.  It saddens me that I can no longer be receiving these gifts because they were once mine.

        The other worst part: until this day, I know that if you aspired to resume a genuine relationship that came from whole-hearted intentions and embodied mutual values, I’d be willing to build a new chapter of my life with you. Despite speaking from a broken heart, I would take you back. Not because you’re familiar or because there’s history; I would allow you to re-enter my life because you have grown. I am a firm believer in the idea that a person is unable to unconditionally love others if they do not love them self first. I know without hesitation that I love all the parts of myself even the sloppy ones too. I am who I am and love every single thing of what I embody. My actions, my words reflect the values that’s important to me, that I’ve been taught with; my level of maturity that allows myself to grow from experiences, transform heartache into peace while honour my time on commitments. For you, what I see on the outside is that you can’t love me whole heartedly because you have not fully experienced loving yourself entirely. Can you learn to accept and forgive yourself just as I have?

        I guess part of experiencing love in life is letting someone go and seeing if they’ll return back. Reading this post, I hope you can return and find yourself once again.

 

 

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